“Cause I don’t want you to know where I am, Cause then you’ll see my heart in the saddest state its ever been…” (Relient K)
Its a strange thing, Temptation… Showing us how susceptible and weak the will of man is…
But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. (James 1:15)
We have created systems that cater for a life of sensual indulgence in the discreet pockets of our lives, our sensual indulgence is shrouded by the game face we put up, hoping to ward off keen eyes and shame. What’s sad about all this is that we wake up each morning with a lack of purpose and a senselessness that sears our conscience to reprobation. Every step we take towards our primitive urges draws us further from our true and right identity: children of God.
We try to break free but every time we find ourselves in the same quagmire that we once escaped from; wallowing in the same mire that we repulsed from….. The plot to the secret thickens, and it becomes so sensitive that more resources have to be spent to manage and organize the urges in a way that does not disturb the societal status. We work so hard to hide it from our identity that we become absorbed in the lie, that temptation spends less and less energy in convincing the weak willed heart to fall and indulge….
This stage of the Christian life is very dangerous: The spirit starves for some semblance of nourishment, sensitivity and discernment diminish, and the peace that once reigned in the Christian’s life fades into the sunset..
The Christian knows one thing: He is dying.
Fellowship does not seem to help, there is no one to talk to about it, everyone else seems to be doing pretty well, no one to notice just how close to the ledge the Christian is…
What to do?
Don’t give up. Its not over yet…the grand deception in the world is that you can handle your sensual urges..you can’t.
Remember how it was when you first you first asked for forgiveness, when those hot tears trickled down your face…when overwhelming joy filled your heart?
There is yet hope…
